


such a luxury

by cazei



Series: field trips [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Claustrophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Light Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is a Sad Tired Bean, Protective Tony Stark, Sad Peter Parker, Sick Character, Sick Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Peter Parker, im sorry, there is lowercase italics you know im angsty when that happens, this is very angstry, yes this is part of my field trip series but it is so much SADDER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazei/pseuds/cazei
Summary: "Sleep is such a luxury, which I can’t afford," Robin Sikarwar--"Besides, every time he closes his eyes he sees Ben. And Mr. Stark taking his suit, giving up on him. He sees Flash’s mouth laughing as he falls down stairs.Most of all, he sees Toomes eyes."--After Toomes, Peter becomes a bit on an Insomniac. Tony finds this out the hard way.--This is a very angsty end to my field trip series. Can be read as a stand-alone, but I do reference some of the events and characters in the rest of the series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this should be a three-parter. ending at about 3k words? idk guys this is angsty i love it.

After the debacle that was the Advanced Business and Marketing field trip, Peter checked up and down that not a single class or club was going to anything Stark-related any time soon.

 

Sure enough, none of them were. It just happened to be a horrible, terrible fluke that both his and the AB&M class’ went to Stark Towers within a month.

 

Just his luck.

 

So, his life went back to normal. He kept up with his testosterone shots, Geometry homework, and Spider-Man patrolling. He also ended up doing a project as a real Engineering intern at Stark Industries.

 

Okay… Normal meaning stressed, if not completely overwhelmed. He finds himself getting home from school at three, doing homework until four thirty, and patrolling from four forty five until twelve, one at night. Sometimes later, if May is taking the night shift at the hospital. Peter doesn’t like being sleep-deprived, but if that’s what it takes to save lives (and his stomach, he still gets churros on the regular), he’ll do it.

 

Besides, every time he closes his eyes he sees Ben. And Mr. Stark taking his suit, giving up on him. He sees Flash’s mouth laughing as he falls down stairs.

 

Most of all, he sees Toomes eyes.

 

 _he can feel the heat of his breath on his face, and he can taste the dust. the dirt. the cement ceiling is around him, under him, on top of him, consuming him. he is alone. it is everywhere and he is crushed. he is being crushed, oh, my god, he can’t hold it up, it’s going to shift, he’s going to die. what will may do? what will peter do? he is alone. there is dirt in his mouth and he cannot breath and he cannot see and the dust will not settle and everytime he opens his mouth he chokes and he cannot scream and he cannot cry and._ peter. is. alone.

 

Needless to say, Peter isn’t fond of his dreams. He doesn’t have much time to sleep, because even after patrol, he has even more classes. More homework. More life to deal with, no matter how much it should all _just go away_. When he does find time to sleep, all he can dream of is… the cement. The pain.

 

With no more surprise field trips to surprise him, Peter has even more time to avoid sleeping. He joins a new club, Cinematography and Film Study, so he has that every Tuesday until four. Which simply pushes back his homework time until three or four on those nights. And, with school starting at seven and New York traffic and crowds to deal with, he wakes up at six every morning.

 

The whole “eight hours a night” is a myth. Some people need more, some need less.

 

That means his hour-a-day-if-lucky is fine. He’s fine. Nothing is on fire and he can breath most of the time, so everything. Is. Just. Fine.

 

Some deep, dark place in his mind says his name.

 

“Mr. Parker,” the voice calls. “Peter Parker!”

 

Then, an elbow connects with his stomach, and he realizes that the voice was _not_ in his head. That’s good.

 

Ms. Holly, his Chemistry teacher, stares at him from the front of the room. Needless to say, she does not look pleased.

 

“Did we lose you?” Ms. Holly asks. _cement dust dirt clawing down his throat he cant speak he cant cry he wants to scream--_

 

Peter clears his throat and shrugs. “Sorry, I zoned out. What was the question?”

That night, he does four pages of Mole-Particle-Mass conversions instead of sleep. Instead of his usual hour, he spends the time lying on his back and listening to static-filled FM radio for first thirty minutes, and standing in the scalding hot shower for the other.

 

He barely has time to meet his aunt’s eye, because she is rushing to get her scrubs on, and he is so fucking tired, lifting his head is a death sentence.

 

It’s Friday, though. So instead of pretending to sleep, he’s allowed to stay out on Patrol until two. Usually, he’s banned from this, but he doesn’t listen. If he comes home earlier than this during the work-week, he still has to _hear_ it all. His heightened hearing isn’t as great as Daredevil, but he can still hear what happens around the block. He can hear the radio in his neighbor's kitchen, and he can hear the cops’ radio from the station down the street. Pain is everywhere and it never ends, not for Peter’s city.

 

All in all, these are plenty of reasons for him not to sleep.

 

It usually doesn’t affect him on patrol, since he is usually so hyped-up on adrenaline that he doesn’t notice how heavy it is to lift his limbs or speak full, vibrant sentences.

 

Actually, the only downsides to his forced-insomnia are… well… how bad he feels when he isn’t fighting, which, in turn, just makes him want to fight more.

 

Part of his mind knows that this is a damaging cycle, and most of him doesn’t really care.

 

He gets by. Ned flashes him looks throughout the week, but it passes. By the end of three weeks, he can estimate himself at about twenty-four hours of sleep overall. It’s fine, though. Teachers stop calling on him during class, but some go as far as to pull him aside after class. Just before another, annoying meeting with Ms. Georgi, he gets a text.

 

* * *

Chat: peter, Happy

  
Happy: Hey, it’s been a few Friday’s since we’ve had you over. You’re invited to spend this weekend at the tower with Tony and I. What do you say?  
  
peter: ok sure  
  
Happy: Your aunt has already said yes. I’ll pick you up after school.   


* * *

 

 

Ms. Georgi gives him a sharp look. “ _Peter_.”

 

He snaps his phone off and looks up. “Sorry!”

 

Her face softens. “We're -- me, the science department -- we’ve been worried about you. You’ve been acting strange for the past few weeks. Are you okay, Peter?”

 

Her unspoken _is this about your uncle?_ hangs in the air. He just shrugs.

 

“I’m good,” Peter tries to sound honest. “School is just overwhelming right now, with the decathlon club starting again for next year. I’m just a bit tired, is all. Everything is okay, really.”

 

She nods understandably. “We just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Just know that you can talk to me, Ms. Holli, Mr. Mordue… Any of us, if you need to.” He nods. “Good. Now, run along. You’ve got three minutes until last class starts.”

  
He doesn’t stick around. He never does.

 


	2. soz

first off, a funny story of how i may have accidentally created a fandom trope? 

 

so, as you may know if you’re reading this, field trip au’s are, like, a thing. a popular thing rn in the peter & tony tag  

 

and that may be my fault? if you back search ‘field trip’ in the filters, mine was the second to first work posted

the first was posted months before mine, and i used it to get vague inspiration from  

and so i wrote my own, gave them credit for the original idea, and i posted it. honestly, i didn’t like it very much either 

 

after a bit, i checked this account again. and if you back search “field trip” again, in the weeks after mine... more were posted. and now there’s like hundreds 

and now it’s one of the most popular ideas / au’s in the fandom... whoops? 

like obv it’s the OG creators idea... but . i still feel weird and like giggly every time i see one pop up? like, oh boy this is my grave i gotta lie in it now.

 

— 

so there’s that. 

hey y’all

so if you couldn’t tell

i haven’t posted much , like , at all recently. 

 

which is on me, my lack of motivation, energy, and frankly free time to do so. 

 

so, as of rn, this work will probably not be finished any time soon. i am very sorry about that! 

however, this is not abandoned! i just want to assure the messages i’m getting on tumblr that yeah i’m still alive this may just be a while away.

 

:( i don’t wanna post this as a ch to get anyone’s hopes up (lol as if anyone’s gonna read this) but it’s the only way i can; if i edited as the authors note no one would see if if they’ve subbed. 

as always, tumblr is @cazei  
send me a message!

**Author's Note:**

> parts:
> 
> one, exposition  
> two, start of the weekend  
> three, end of the weekend 
> 
> i hope you enjoy! i hope this was good! i plan to post the next part by the end of the week, if you guys like this! comment is you like it!
> 
> lmk how you guys like this and other stuff! my tumblr is @cazei !!!!!


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